Art By: Shreha Regmi

“You think life is going to get easier after +2? You are still babies, maybe not in diapers but babies nonetheless, who have been spoon-fed and looked after every step of the way. Mark my words when I say you have not yet even grazed the surface of what is known as frustration and stress.”

These weren’t the exact words the teacher used. The person writing this piece might have exaggerated some parts and under played others, but that’s how the author remembers it and knows for sure the essence of what the teacher meant is intact.

The teacher being considered here is just another teacher teaching just another class in just another +2 college. But the teacher is a part of this article because he was a teacher teaching the person writing this article in the +2 college where the person writing this article studied.

When person heard the teacher say the above quote, the person did what the person does best. Ignored it. It was one of those days. The sky just seemed darker and the colors more dull. So, the person forgot about it.

But “Behold, the dear subconscious!” that’s one of the things the person remembers most vividly now.

I study here in Kathmandu, in Nepal and it’s not that college is tough. It’s not that I am under stress or in any frustration. But once in a while, I do think about the “what ifs”. And it is not pleasant thinking about those.

As soon as the results of 12 were announced, some people I once knew very well started flying--flying abroad in planes I mean. They were leaving. Why? “Because of all the reasons we know by heart. “Better opportunities”, “Better lifestyle“, “Better education”, “Experience” and so on. We have had it repeated to us a countless number of times.

Long after the results of 12 were announced, some people I once knew very well did not start at all. They took a gap year for many different reasons and in most cases it was the best thing for them to do. Why? We know the answer to that as well. “Studying for entrance exams for medicine, engineering”, “Acceptance letter for abroad studies” and so on.

Now that we have all four parts of this piece- the teacher, A: me, representing the people studying in Nepal, B: those representing the people that left the country and C: those people taking a gap year- we can get to the point.

To put simply,

A is having trouble.

B is having trouble.

C is having trouble.

All of them are facing their own “demons” and sometimes facing themselves as their demons in their own way. Of course they are. None of their lives are better than the other’s.

A is trying to come to terms with its choice of studying the course it has made a deal to study for four years. A is trying to ignore that B is having a whole new set of experiences in a foreign nation that A will never have. A is trying to ignore that C has time to do everything and anything and will have time to have a well thought decision. Most of all, A is trying to ignore that B and C are going to have experiences and opportunities that A will never have.

B is trying to come in term with the new country, its people and its way of life. B is trying to be cool with the fact that A has an easy life with a home to return to. B is trying to be cool with the fact that C has time to do everything and anything and will have time to make a well thought decision. Most of all, B is trying to be cool about the fact that A and C are living happily back in a place that is still the only place called home.

C is trying to come in terms with having an enormous lot of time to spend and the necessity of spending the time well. C is trying not to envy A, who has an easy life with everything already decided. C is trying not to envy B, who is having a new set of experiences in a foreign nation. Most of all, C is trying not to envy A and B, who are already a year ahead of it.

Oh! About the teacher, well…the teacher is smiling and shaking his head remembering his experiences after 12 but most probably the teacher is going on with his daily life forgetting about ever having said something that inspired this article.

All in all, whatever decision you have chosen for yourselves or others have chosen for you, you are on your own path and so am I. So best of luck to you and best of luck to me. Because

“The woods are lovely, dark and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep.”