Tue, 18 Jun, 2024


Memories Of Blue


By Amshu Upreti

Image source: pinterest.com.au

(June 10, 2018)
“It’s so beautiful up here”, my friend exclaimed.
We were up on the hill of Alsanvenia.
Standing at the top of the hill with wind dancing along my tangled hair,
I moved closer towards my friend and looked at the scenery below me.
“It's breathtaking", he said.
As I looked down, my gaze met icy blue waves of water,
lapsing over one another reflecting all possible shades of blue.
Blue was too much for me, it triggered a lot of memories.

(April 4, 2006)
When I was a child my mom bought me a beautiful blue dress.
The baby blue colour was enough to calm my senses.
I adore that dress till today
It has become my favorite color indeed. I was infatuated by the colour blue.
I wanted everything to be painted in the lushness of blue.

(1st January, 2011)
One day my dad came home all drunk and cold.
He started lashing my mom.
I had never seen him like that.
What could a mere 10 year old do? I ran towards my mom and tried to shield her.
Seeing me, my dad’s eyes softened.
I looked at my mom’s pale face, her torn clothes but what caught my attention was the mark all over her body, Blue marks of lashes from him.

Blue was no more soft and pleasant. 
It was rather cruel and violent.
Blue was no more warm, every touch of it burned.

(August 22, 2016)
I was on my way to school when I first saw him,
A guy too perfect to be real in a blue shirt.
I had never seen someone looking so gorgeous in blue.
I watched him every day from a safe distance.
And every time our eyes met the melody of "I’ll make love you to by boyz 2 men" would ring in my ears.

(April 7, 2017)
It was a fine warm day, I got out of the house and looked towards the sky. They were in perfect blue.
I smiled at it and headed towards school.
The day was going just fine and suddenly he came in front of me the Divine creation of God himself; the guy I’ve been crushing on for about a year now.
I was spellbound, just kept staring at him like a love-struck puppy.
With brief exchange of words I could sense the calmness of blue soaring through my heart.

But it’s not always rainbows and butterflies.

With a broad smile on my face I went back home.
I stood frozen as I inhaled the scene ahead of me.
“NO NO NO” I kept on telling myself.
I could see my dad pouring down the liquid from his blue Ruslan bottle and igniting the matchstick.
“Dad no… Dad please stop, DAD !!” but my voice was fading. 
I could see the room ignite with blue flame that later turned into yellow. The walls that were painted in blue all turned black. 
People were rushing back and forth whilst I was frozen, this can’t be happening.
I was immovable. 
The last thing I remembered before I fell into unconsciousness was the Blue flame, the Blue sky, the Blue walls and my dad’s Blue eyes.

(June 10, 2018)
Blue waves. 
Right now I was deeming the blue waves.
Blue waves were calling to me. It looked like clouds of heaven extending its hand towards me.
I stepped closer to the edge, closer, more closer and finally felt my body floating, weightless in the sky.
I could hear my friend's voice fading far away.
The moment my body was engulfed with the Blueness I was done.
Finally Blue.
Yeah it had always been Blue.

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