Photo Courtesy: Neesha Dhungana I was born in a village far away from the city crowd and its overwhelming pollution. My mom used to sit outside the house under the warmth of sun penetrating through the sky. I still can feel my muscles relax after she had massaged my body with warm oil. I grew up as a shy kid. I used to run away from people because their meanness scared me. I did not have many friends because I was afraid to go out. I was constantly afraid of being kidnapped like the other kids had been in our village. “What if they enter our house and kill us?” “What if in the name of bringing peace in the nation they take whatever that is remaining with us and tear it apart?” These thought always haunted me during my sleep and I usually woke up in the middle of the night, terrified. I and my family survived the catastrophe of war. I had been enjoying my teenage life when I realized that for some time, my parents had been planning to marry me off to some guy I didn't know. But I finally was able to make some friends. I had started to enjoy my life. I had grown up with the hobby of visiting new places. I sometimes used to run away from school and lose myself in nature and its beauty but all that was going to change soon. My brother was going to the city for further studies and I was preparing myself to wed very soon. I married a man from another village. I was very unhappy and disappointed by all the things that were happening to me. I was just a teenager carrying dreams and hopes one day and the next day, I was carrying a baby in my belly. It was difficult to accept the situation but when the baby girl was smiling at me, I learned to move on. I raised my child with love and care. Of course, I was hated for not giving birth to a boy but I knew, if I listened to them, my child would end up with the same fate as that of mine. I decided to educate my daughter. I worked hard, farming and looking after cattle. I finally was able to send her to Kathmandu for higher studies. She was bright and was able to pursue her education through scholarships. She went abroad with her own expense and got settled there. That was the best thing that happened to me. Though old, I had many desires left in me and I could not surrender myself to god. But I asked him to guide the way. I used to see many young people and I often envied their lives but there was no way to relive my life. When I saw them, I just would turn around and continued my way. I always had someone by my side. Sometimes, that was my mother, sometimes my husband, sometimes my friend and sometimes my children. But now, I am tired of everything else. I just walk alone because I know, I can take no one with me when I die. I may have had dreams before, but now I just have my soul with me. I walked my journey sometimes with tears and sometimes with smiles knowing it has to end one day. Until then, just let me walk, let me walk until my soul is with me, let me walk until my breath is with me. Just let me walk until I rest, rest completely with the soil above and below me.