Tue, 13 Apr, 2021

Self - Esteem

By Nikita Gautam

According to Wikipedia, "Self-esteem is a term used in psychology to reflect a person's overall emotional evaluation of his or her own worth." What am I going to do with myself? I can never do things properly? I am a stupid person? No one ever tries to understand me, am I not worth it? I am not even beautiful, what will I do with my life? I always do stupid things that make people yell at me, and so on… We often question  our abilities and ourselves, which ultimately results in depression. Each one of us is a unique architecture of nature, but why do we often blame ourselves for not being a superhuman. We often have the cloud of negativity cover our world of contentment and happiness. Self-esteem is a personal trait, that affects one's personal behavior, social interactions and well-being as well. We are lovable individuals and are being loved as well, but our emotions hide this truth and place us in the shadow of unhappiness.

Self-esteem is developed from our childhood. But what is the cause of development of low self esteem within us?  Many of us blame ourselves for the causes of not meeting our parent's standards of living or the same amount of hardships they have been or their huge expectations for us in our lives. This thing bothers us so much that we end up causing harm to ourselves. We are with our family members or with our pals, sometimes we feel being neglected, this negligence is certainly unbearable at that instant. We feel that our words are being ignored, just unheard and we don't deserve to belong with them. When someone close to our heart just ignores your great accomplishment, certainly that painful feeling evolves. We have been bullied at least once in our lifetimes, this act also contributes in nourishment of seed of low self-esteem. We expect our parents or people close to us to be around at times of difficulty. If they aren't supportive to us during the times when we need them the most, it certainly adds up.

Society plays a major role in nourishing the sown seeds of self-esteem. Why do we have to compare one child's ability with the other? How would that pure soul feel when their parents or someone else does those unfair comparisons? Every child is unique in himself/herself, no one has the right to compare their abilities but often people do so, which breaks the child's motivation within. Those children feel that they are the odd ones out in the school, with their friends, their family, and it ultimately breaks their hearts. Lack of affection or interest is also a major cause of low self-esteem.

If we take a closer look at the human mind, many of us feel that it's better not to try than to lose. But is this good or bad for us? We fear to lose, but have we had a closer look to the situation, have we seen the positive things that we have gained just by attempting?. We promise ourselves then, that's all I am going to lose again so I'll better not give it a try next time. What drives us to that part of truth? We draw a line in life, which we presume to never cross it again. Slowly we develop biased thinking, start criticizing ourselves and so on. We push ourselves to look into the part of the truth we want to look but not the other side, which consists of hope, freedom and happiness. People with financial problems, family problems, unemployment, health problems etc. are also likely to develop low self-esteem.

People with low self-esteem are likely to be shy, quiet, insecure, and unhappy all the time, depressed, unmotivated, dependent, angry, non-risk taker, antisocial, with negative attitude and so on. Such people slowly develop a pessimistic approach to life. Disorders in their health as well as their psychology are thus followed. These people not only affect these parts of their lives but also are afraid to be diagnosed and are less likely to seek the treatment. They often let these stress disorders to proliferate significantly, which causes a major harm to their psyche.

What should we do then? First of all you should try to identify the problem that is causing you trouble. One should always be aware of any negative thoughts or beliefs. It's our choice to grab positive or negative thoughts out of something. Try not to think about the negative thoughts, divert your mind. Never judge something based on little knowledge, truth is more than one's assumption. Forgive yourself for committing mistakes, we are just humans not god. Just focus on the positive and keep on encouraging yourself. Value yourself the most, then you will learn to value others in life. Never let yourself down because of someone. Stand strong for what belongs to you. There are many other ways through which we can keep motivating ourselves and recover. It depends upon us, how we hold the rope of our lives. Self-esteem is something that we develop, we preserve and we maintain. No matter what, always remain positive, negativity only ruins you but positivity flourishes you. Your values become your destiny.