The Mystery of Happiness
(Barun Bajracharya is the author of a short story book 'Sins of Love' and contributing author of short story anthology 'Samayko Sapana'. He works in a USAID funded project as Communication Officer. In October 2013, he traveled to S. Korea to represent Nepal in the general conference of Traditional Poetry Writers Association of the World where he recited his poems.) Happiness is considered a universal aspiration as well as a universal obscurity. But at the same time, being happy means different things for different folks. Human beings are idiosyncratic individuals and have their own likes and dislikes. ‘He’ may desire chocolate and ‘she’ may fancy titaura. Nobody can dictate anyone’s preferences. It is congenital and instinctive. So the question arises; is happiness an innate feeling as well? Or is it only achieved by ownership of materialistic things as many might believe? A businessman could be pleased at earning hefty proceeds and a job holder could be enchanted at getting a decent remuneration hike. But if riches could procure happiness then there would be many happy faces amongst us. Strangely, the reality depicts a dissimilar tale. We are rejoicing economic, technological and social state of affairs that would have been considered utopian a few centuries ago. Yet gloominess and melancholy are clearly overriding in today’s world. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, an estimated 17 million Americans suffer from depression during any 1-year period. Who knows? The same might follow in Nepal also. Due to this upsurge in depression some therapies like psychotherapy, light therapy, cognitive therapy are gaining ground especially in the western world. For the younger generation, happiness might be linked with their sensation of first crush. So, is love the gateway to perpetual happiness? If we look at the increase in the scenario of divorce, extra martial affairs, infidelity, domestic violence then the picture appears bleak. Many times, love brings around its evil cousins – lust and betrayal. Some think that lust might lead to momentary happiness but then again, attaining temporary pleasure is just like catching raindrops with your hands; one moment they are there and next moment they are gone. If money and love cannot unlock the mystery of happiness then what can? So many questions roam around this one simple word ‘happiness’. If we dissect the word ‘happiness’ and remove the four letters at the front and the back, we would find ‘I’ in the middle. The word ‘I’ signifies the ego. Most of us are busy running after our individual benefits. Perhaps we should choose a dissimilar route. Perhaps we should focus more on the path rather than the destination. Being happy is easier said than done and happiness is often very tough to get hold of. It is thorny because we do not always have a clear conception of what true happiness really is. Mostly, we impose our own notions of what happiness is onto our daily lives. We then try to ensure that our life standard meets those self defined criteria. So, it’s us who decide what will make us happy. Buddhism defines happiness and sadness as within one’s own control. According to the twenty-five hundred year old Buddhist philosophy, all human cravings should be set aside if we are ever to reach near nirvana. Paltry pleasures such as acquiring riches, friendships and relationships are considered scanty means of short-lived satisfaction in this religion. Possibly we could search for happiness within ourselves. We do not appreciate the things that we already have and persistently compare our lives with those who have more than us. A wise man once said, “Compare your happiness with those who have less of it than you and compare your sadness with those who have more of it than you.” Instead of building hate inside our hearts towards our enemies, we should rather implement the chapter of forgiveness. To gain inner satisfaction, we should try to enjoy our work. Moreover, a healthy work environment leads to a calm mind. Optimistic perspective can also lead to a happier lifestyle. If we start searching for happiness in the trifling pleasures of life then we might be joyful all the time. We can gain smiles from the beauty of sunrise every morning. We can find laughter in a toddler’s speech every once in a while. We surely can be overwhelmed by the hug of a loved one anytime. If that is not happiness then what is?