Sun, 09 Aug, 2020

Modern Social Evil

By Bijaya Kumar Shrestha

When I had just entered, they were laughing and saying, “Mentality of people…….” Jokingly I asked, “Did I come at the wrong time?” In reality, they were more like friends than husband and wife. Both of them were my close friends for fifteen to sixteen years. They had lots of respect towards each other. When I was unmarried, I was really impressed by their relation and used to pray to God, “May my marital life be like theirs.” They used to discuss with each other on any topic which they happened to have conflict in. They had highly friendly and respectful home environment. Even today, I would like to say, “They are the best example of husband and wife relationship.” I was really impressed by their devotion to each other, respect to each other and freedom to each other. After few minutes of my arrival, her husband went to library. Both of them are Ph.D. students. They are always in a rush. But the lady friend of mine was a bit free as she had not registered for any course that semester. She was in a position to fulfill her next family responsibility - her pregnancy. So, she had taken leave for the semester. “Congratulations to both of you”, I said to them. Saturday is a holiday in Nepal, so my lady friend was at home. After some time she told me, they were laughing at the message to her husband’s cell phone. Message was, “Why does your wife speak with the people whom we do not like………..? If I ask my wife not speak to someone, she does not speak. She does whatever I ask her to do. Can’t you do so with your wife…………………….? ” But, that man might not know, he was really impressed with courageous and independent nature of his ex girlfriend and present wife. They were laughing at this message. I felt bitter on knowing that the person who had sent the message had not let his wife to do anything without his permission. How could she be tolerating the sabotage of her own self respect? She might be educated. Any parents educate their daughter to protect their self respect and human dignity. How bad would her parents feel if they come to know such a terrible situation of their daughter? We know, this is wrong. Why Nepali women are compromising on it? I would like to tell that man. “You may not know that all women are not as you think. Many women are well aware about their social and family responsibilities.  They never think that it’s only their husband who has to work and they are only for giving birth to child and have to do as their husband ask to do. They feel they have equal responsibility as of husband towards the family and society. Both of them have understood very well that there must be two wheels on the cart. So, try to make friendly and respectable family environment but not suggest other to make as of yours. If you do not like the comments made by my friend on gender discrimination, do not pay attention to her comments. Do not read her articles published on news papers. More, elaborate your thoughts, understand the feelings of woman so that you will not be hurt by the articles of my friend. Your wife may not speak against you but I am sure, your daughter will speak against it one day.” From her childhood, my friend used to read the articles on gender discrimination with deep interest. I know it as she is my one of the best friend from school to university. She spoke against demoralization and gender discrimination. She was courageous lady. During high schooling, she was always the first in class. She had own different prizes in many ECA activities like poem recitation, story writing, essay writing, debate, speech etc. She was very active in Red - Cross and Scout. She was really famous in school. Right after her S.L.C. examination, she had got an opportunity in government services. That was not her ambition, so she quit her job. During the university life, as other female students, she also had to suffer from the circle of bad boys. But the difference was, we used to say, let it be and she used to fight against it. Even, she had slapped few of such boys. I do not mean to say that she was totally against the boys. Specially, she never entertained the thought “Women are Weak”. She was good friend of many boys who used to see male and female equally. Her husband was also one of her friends in the university.  And, I know he had married her being impressed by her courageous and outspoken nature. He is really happy and prays this nature of his wife. They help and respect each other. They support each other to establish their social status. When we were in the university, she used to say that love and marriage are nothing for her. She always wanted to do something for the Nepali society. I know her very well since her child hood. She always speaks against gender discrimination without hesitation. She is a fighter against such “modern social evil.” I feel like laughing at that male friend who can to entertain the comments and articles written by my friend against gender discrimination and modern social evil. At the same time, I felt sorry for those poor sisters who are compelled to do as suggested by her husband.  That’s why I would like to say,”Hey friends! it’s you who have to fight for your self-respect.  Otherwise, you will encounter such a situation on which you cannot laugh; you cannot weep and even breathe without the permission from your husband.”