Sun, 26 May, 2024

Love, Relationship and Youths

By Navaraj Kharel

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I do not have some spiritual love knowledge or something as so either but I have some clear perceptions regarding love. Love and relationships today among the young adults has become a hot topic. Gone are those days when an 18-year-old Romeo shared a deep unswerving love with a 14 -year-old Juliet. Of course, they are illusory characters who epitomized an era where teenage amorousness was actually serious! But with the evolution of time the Romeo-Juliet fantasy love story no longer can connect to today's Love scenario of the teenagers and youngsters. I am going to let you question your basic knowledge and views towards your personal love insights.

The idea to love today is very meek. You like somebody. You feel certain attraction towards them. Then you start thinking about them...think how beautiful or good looking they are, and you feel that you are missing them. And you decide you're in love and ask them out maybe; if you're lucky enough to get a YES then Congratulations! You're now in a relationship. You have a new girl/boyfriend. And the story after that is familiar to all of us. If the lovers share a great bonding till the time to come they're in what they call a 'Happy relationship', If not, breaking up is the only thing on earth left to do. Isn't it funny? I am not trying to intimidate or hurt some one's feelings here but it is actually funny and sarcastic to me how people say they really loved someone and things didn't work out so they had to quit. Really? Would you ever let go someone when you would need them so much in your life? And even if you do, would you ever stop thinking about them? The answer is NO. Let's get real, teenage romance isn't getting anywhere. I'll take an example from my experience as a reference to this whole thing. A close friend of mine was in a steady relationship with a guy senior to her by 2 years. Whenever she talked to me, she would always be like, "I am in TRUE LOVE this time and we are so getting married for sure'. She was lovesick, I used to think for what she did....she wrote his names on her notebooks like crazy (which could be rather used for writing something more meaningful) changed her surname, love statuses on Facebook all the time, she even decided names for their would-be kids!!! I wondered sometimes if it really could go that far. I never saw a good future to their relationship. I mean, REALITY never did exist in it. And I turned out to be a pretty good prognosticator when she, 3 and a half months later after the relationship started called me up to say that she had moved on from it as he was a total jerk and she found a better person. That left my mind on a sardonic note. Isn’t that enough irony?

And most to the worst of all the teenage couples today, are prone to posting each and everything on social media. Expressing love through love quotes; some googled some original, pictures of them together, and finally sad statuses after separation. They have made their lives very complicated unconsciously, with a little privacy to everything. That again destroys the essence of love. The fact is what we, teens go through is just a certain 'physical magnetism phase' and not really love. That's not our fault really, let’s put the blame on the hormones. After all they play a big part in determining attraction towards the opposite sex. And while our hormones are only playing with us, we unknown to the fact give it the name of love!

Love is not just limited to physical attraction, it's a mental, emotional and spiritual bonding between two people who will be together in the worse to worst conditions. And it doesn't have an easy end, it keeps on trying; to survive even in the most suffocating circumstances of life. Who says True love doesn't exist? I believe in true love. I have living examples of it in my home. My Parents celebrated their 43 years of togetherness. They have come across the most difficult situations in life together, They had distances that kept them apart yet so close, From beauty to wrinkles, From strength to weakness, From good to bad, They stayed together and still decide to continue their journey...they did have fights yet they never had a 'Breakup'. They did have differences but always decided to work it out. They never express their love each and every moment yet they have a bonding which just can't be explained. They never post those cute pictures together with captions expressing how much love they have, on social networking sites yet they are perfect examples of what love really is. Love is full of sacrifices, compromises, forgiveness, integrity, commitment, respect, compatibility and so on...It's not just about going on dates, buying expensive gifts, cuddling, holding hands, all the lovey-dovey activities. It’s also not only bounded to affection and caring. Of course, these are part of being in love but it is more than just that. Love is phenomenal. Our knowledge regarding love is not enough to make us realize what love really means. Yes, some of us must have had experiences besides than just a physical attraction. But the fact is we are 'Immature' in the understanding and experiences of love. And more than half of the youngsters today waste most of their time and money in meeting the demands of 'being in a relationship' (which they think is love) and which is not even going to work and will probably end at a certain point of time. We young people tend to follow the trend and often end up making mistakes. We rush to a relationship seeing the perks of it and never really try to know the consequences. We have a lifetime, a whole single life waiting for us to meet the person who is going to be the one. Who will finally wake us up from the 'Sleep-dream' of this virtuosity of love...What we know right now is not enough to get love into our heads. It's a big word not a child's play.

Let's not run the ''How many people you date?'' marathon....Love isn't a game of numbers...In fact, it isn't a game at all.

Hoping that my words above hasn't offended anyone and rather gave a moment of questioning 'What do I really know about love?' I would like to wrap this up with a quote, “Love isn't something you find, Love is something that finds you". -Loretta Young