Sun, 26 May, 2024

Funeral of Your Memories

By Arjun Dahal

And still today- I'm thinking of you.   I think of you- Of those old days when you would often mock and tease, calling me Monkey, and now I love that word. I think of you- Of those times when you would hide away my spectacles, and I would go almost blind. I think of you- Of all those silly comments you made on my facebook profile, and alas! Now I've deleted them all. I think of you- Of all those times I waited for your call, just to see your name blip on the screen of my phone and the endless hours, we used to hang on. I think of you- Of all your horrible good night messages and still how peacefully I used to sleep. I think if you- For all those long and lengthy chats we made, and I never felt alone like nowadays. I think of you- For all those achievements of me, where you would always be the first one to congratulate me, and my happiness would be beyond the height of Everest I think of you- Now and then, how easily you could read my thoughts and even trolled me many times. I think of you- Of that day when you were dressed so fine and looked cute like a doll, and in front of the public, I bent down and asked for your hand, like in the movies. You were so shy, you covered your face with palm and murmured me "Get up monkey, the crowds are watching." I think of you- How every time you listened to my never ending talks- so interestingly, that even I would forget the march of time. I think of you- Of that time when I cut my hand inking my name and you slapped and hugged me calling me an idiot. I think of you- Of those days when you would ask me to quit cigarettes and I would immediately lit another making you more furious. I think of you- Of those every time when you would see me in grief, you would speak with your words choked in Adam's Apple. I think of you- Of that Valentine's day when I had written, a letter from goat's blood and later few villains revealed it to you. You were so crossed that you didn't speak to me for many days and I had to do so much nonsense to see you smile back. I think of you- Of that handmade birthday present, I had gifted you and even tears rolled from your eyes and instantly you hit me with that gift, with your ever blazing smile. Oh lord! I was so crazy to waste two weeks for that gift. I think of you- Of your next birthday, when I had mistakenly forgotten and I bunked my Calculus exam, now still left to be given. I think of you- Of that day when you made me walk with your low heeled shoes and it was like a hell for me. I think of you- Of those countless times, you supported me blindly for each and every of my work. I think of you- Of that day when few gangsters used rough words for you and I fought with them. I still have no idea, from where such fighting ability came to me. And when you were weeping, I vowed to keep you safe in such a romantic way that you were happy but still called me a monkey. I think of you- Of those days when you were so jealous, every time when I talked to other girls. You looked so damn pretty even being angry and I quitted talking to girls. I think of you- Of all your sweet smiles brighter than the thousand candles, every time when I used to surprise you. I think of you- Even after you broke, when few fools rumored of your death, I was so insane that I had to visit a psychiatrist and I lost almost three months in depression, before I found you safe. I think of you- Of everytime yours shoulders had embarrassed me, it would provide me an inner peace and the abstract energy would lead to doing almost anything. I think of you- Of my every breath, Every heartbeat, Every blink of my eyes, And every tickle of my clock.   Now, the angry gods have abandoned, Into the freezing, starless night. You- The angel - Have vanished elsewhere- And it's impossible for you to return. Sorry!! But even I can't wait for your return. And all of your memories are, Burning- Burning- And burning me inside. But why hasn't a single drop of tear rolled? Why is this pen never lazy to hurl for you? Why I'm never bored to think of you? And all your memories are, Piercing, Turning, And tearing me apart. So please carry all your secrets with you, Before my pen spills out everything. For I must burn your memories, And burn my thoughts as well, Let them lie ablaze, To revive the new and pristine version of myself.