Picture By: Subigya Kumar Nepal

I was very happy when I first met him after 10 long years. His brown eyes made me fall in love with him at the very first glance. He had an average height, and was some inches taller then me. He had shorter hair than he used to have 10 years back. He smiled back when I smiled at him. That was the happiest day of my life. We used to have wonderful childhood days together. We used to play lots of games. He was my first friend and I had a crush on him from those days forward. We had not seen each other since my family moved to Kathmandu from Dharan.

I was asked to serve tea to him and his mom. My mom and his mom were best friends. He had completed his 12^th grade and was here to pursue his bachelor level. He was interested in physics. He was the only child of his parents. His parents too shifted to Kathmandu for his studies. His family rented the ground floor of my house.

We soon became good friends again. I was already in love with him. I thought it was the same from his side. One day, he called me. I went downstairs. I realized nobody was there from his family. He held my hand and led me to his room. He closed the door. My heart beat fast. He said that he wanted to tell me something. My heart started beating faster. He said, “I know that you love me so now I don’t want to hide my feelings”. I could not see into his eyes. He came closer to me. He brought his lips near mine. He then turned left and whispered in my ears. I was shocked to hear what he said. He said, “Sorry, I am gay.”

It has been 5 years since then. These days he lives in the US with another guy. Their families have still not accepted them. He was my first love and I’ll always love him. I know destiny has chosen different things for us and I have accepted it somehow.