Wed, 17 Apr, 2024

Blurry Vision- A part from a diary

By Utkrista K.C.

The world I used to visualize around was normal till I started feeling the stairs going downwards, I started getting some uneasiness with something that I should be holding up with my nose and that was the first time I had got my spectacles. This all began when my science teacher came to me and said, “Rishav, I suggest you to go for your eye checkup”. Until that period I had no idea what was wrong with me. At the end, I ended with one of my compulsory ornaments, my best friend, my vision or anything you all might call it.

Since from my childhood, I was not fond of green leafy vegetables. But with the hope that I should not wear glasses anymore, I started liking them slowly. I started standing still only seeing the green plant in my garden with that hope that one day I can throw the spectacles away. Now, I feel that I was such a stupid to do so. Not just that, I started reading all the books that had the titles “To improve your vision try …. And so on”.

Gradually, with the flow of time, I started getting habituated with my glasses. I remember me washing my face with my glasses on my eyes. Likewise, I started using different styles of glasses in a hope of getting perfect with the glasses. I wonder if surgery can wipe off the shining glasses from my eyes as the eye specialist has told me. I think that is the day I have been waiting so desperately like in a movie show where, the actress who is blind goes through a surgery and wishes to see the leading actor eagerly. But I can relate my desperation somehow, but the case is not the same here with me.

Most of us may have heard it many times that whatever happens, happens for the best. We should always see in some positive manner. So following this trend, I have started seeing that forgetting spectacle, is a good omen. Sometimes, all these sorts of things make my mind hover with all the imaginations.

Early morning when I happen to see mirror, I need not worry about my acne, I should not worry about my beard and also many more things happening to my face only because I see my blurry face and everything is hidden. Likewise, my mask does not allow me to wear the spectacles. Are they the enemies? Oh! It is my stupidity to have such an opinion. When I do it, it starts making the environment I see, foggy even though it is clear sunny day. When I am on my bicycle, I need not get some fancy goggles to protect my eyes.

When my friend waves from far behind me, I cannot immediately give a reply only because I doubt the blurry vision. I should just cover it with a smile until I am fully sure that he/she is waving at me. No doubt that, smiling is good. I don’t get the sense of the direction of the eyes one has been seeing through. I am so lucky that I should be nodding the head and laugh at the things that my friends point some at far distance. I have no any option than just pretending that I see.

Similarly, I cannot count the teeth of the person next to me if he or she is laughing. I cannot recognize the facial gestures what he/she is up to. But I am lucky that I have that power to distinguish the color at distant as well. I wonder if I was a butterfly to have all the sense of the different colors of the flowers. Likewise, I need not focus on the appearance because the sound or voice directly enters through me. I should not make judgements of the external appearance because my vision has given me an opportunity to see everyone equally important and rich with what is called external appearance. But, surely, the behavior makes a difference

Blurry vision has helped me in public speaking. Without specs, I need not care about the reaction of the public and the mass. I can speak freely only because I only see the fainted mass. It has given me the confidence to pretend normal, even everything is falling to pieces. It is only because, I have learned to pretend that I see and get along with everything around. May be, it has provided me a chance to study  in a way that the green colored structure hanging in front of my window was a leaf actually when I realized after many days.

Moreover, the glasses have added something to what I look and what people call “studious look”.

The list of the advantages of forgetting my beloved glasses goes on and on. Sometimes, things should be looked up with a different scenario, different perspective and more over different vision. Is it the blurry vision? May be!