Sun, 22 Sep, 2019

I Wanna Be A Child

By Shreha Regmi

Don’t you ever feel like going back to your past? Don’t you remember all the memories you had when you were a child? So you don’t wish for that time to come again? Living life freely, no worries and just following the rules Timon and Pumba taught you, “Hakuna Matata”. Everyday I wake up and I get the feeling that I’m growing up each day. Thinking about it may sound nice, but the fact that you are a grown up and you have to have the ability to take responsibilities makes me afraid. Let me tell you something, on my birthday, I woke up and everyone was wishing me. It felt really nice. And then after a while I thought, too deep, and at once shouted “Mom, I’m 19. I don’t wanna grow up. I always wanna be the same.” She just laughed so hard that for once I was like “What?” And then again, I was like “Oh! What??#$%”. I am too scared to grow up and be a successful person, or work underneath another boss? How to handle everything: good and bad in life? How to act accordingly? How would that feel? Well, I have no idea, I would like to have one, but I don’t want it so soon. I know that this is life, the process you go through, the things that you teach yourself in the ongoing process. From being a child to being a grown up, and finally one day you’re too old to do anything and you die. Just like that. I thought of writing a part of my life, a sad part to be more clear. The part where I went through certain phases, certain situations that made me a different person, a person that I never imagined to be. But, then suddenly I wanted to write on this. How I feel, how I do and handle stuffs. I can't handle something quite well, something like if you act in some way-I act more stupidly. I can’t handle the way people judge each other. Well, yes, even I judge, I must say that I am a judgmental person, but I'm trying really hard to take that habit away . And you know what, I can see myself improving. When I didn’t like a person, I would never go and talk to them, everything they did made me feel a little irritated, but now I don’t care. I am slowly letting go of all the bad stuff and yang. Now, I can go and talk nicely, and I don’t want to ruin anything. However, I can't go on every day with the thought that people don’t like me, they are too scared… and Blah! Blah! Blah! I know that I shout, most of the times, but does that make me a bad or scary person? They don’t even know me. Imagine yourself as a child, and you're playing with your friends. Then a new person appears, a new friend, a new member-new partner to play house-hold, to play teacher-teacher, to run along and imagine a world full of superheroes. Would you judge that little new friend as someone who doesn’t know how to play, you definitely wouldn’t. You wouldn’t care where he came from, as long as he was with you and that made you the most happiest in the entire world. There were no responsibilities, no boundaries, no limitations. You were the only lovable one for your parents, be it your mom or dad, or your sister. You would fight with your mom for the permission to stay up late because you didn’t want to miss your cartoons, your American Dragon, or The Powerpuff girls, or Popoye the Sailorman, or Tom and Jerry. Well, they are countless. I stopped counting, I lost because there were so much and I just couldn’t keep up. I wanted to be Richie Rich, I wanted to ride in Cinderella’s sleigh. I too wanted a gift from Santa. I wanted to save the world like the Power Rangers did. I went on a quest in search of stuff with Dora, and inside The Clubhouse with Mickey and his friends. Live in a pineapple tree with Spongebob, and into a magical world with Noddy. Build stuff with Bob the Builder, and make different friends with Ash and Pikachu and also with Sakura along with her cards. I always dreamed of being a princess, and waiting for a prince charming. Ha-ha, that sounds really funny right now. I wanted to be everything that I could possibly be. I love cartoons and I feel really proud to say that. I want to act stupid, and foolish. Not caring like what others think of you, because it might effect you, in a good way or a bad one. I want a world full of happiness, childishness, love and respect. Not a fake one where everyone snatches away the child in you, leaving  misery and no hope.