Sun, 15 Dec, 2019

Understanding Human Personalities

By Abhusan Gautam

Human beings are strange creatures. There are different kinds of them, ranging from stone-hearted who can murder their own family without a shred of remorse or guilt to cotton-hearted people that can’t witness even a mere insect getting hurt. Some are born strong while some are born weak while some adapt to their circumstances to be something they are not. Personalities are also separated by sex. Males are considered to be resolute, adamant and cold-hearted who can take a blow to their heart or two and be fine with it. On the other hand, females' hearts are considered to be soft, gentle and prone to heartbreaks very easily (Yes, I’m using the term heart to define one’s personality).

People can be taught and trained to develop their sensitivity, to be heartier and stronger by personality. There are varieties of therapies, lessons, and techniques that help achieve a stronger sense of sympathy. People, however, aren’t taught to understand other people’s emotions. One can be perceived as a weak-hearted by the other without understanding what’s going through their mind. A random example would be “a male person found crying”. People around him perceive his emotion which can differ based on different factors, primarily which are based on the judging person’s values. If the judge was born in a loving family with an almost zero violent background, he will be empathetic towards the person and ask him what’s up.  Another person who had a tough male dad/brother/peers to look up to might be inconsiderate of the person’s emotions and call him a “wimp/sissy/girl”. A male child would almost always retort to action rather than words because that’s what he saw growing up. It’s not common for a male child to be quarreling, arguing and fighting over small things because the society has gelled his mentality into being violent and aggressive. On the other hand, a female child surrounded by all things bright and beautiful, are distanced and protected from quarrel and hostility, rendering them to be sweeter and considerate. The male child learns aggression from his early childhood and perceives everyone this way while the female child learns perseverance. Therefore, there are more rude men than rude women. (Obviously, there are exceptions too).

But society and growing up never totally define a person’s sensitivity. You are what you are.  Pain, anger and fear, these emotions lies in every animal, even more so in human beings. Some people are easily startled by horror movies while others criticize about how terrible it was. Some cover their bed-sheets with tears after watching a movie while others find reasons to laugh/smile in them. A person can act all tough and masculine, but deep down, he is affected by those emoticons too.

It is very easy to say to a sensitive male, “Be a man”. The person who said this has no idea what-so-ever about the other person. They consider this a “motivation” to overcome the fear that’s holding them back. While it could act as motivation to some, it is an absolute blow to other’s ego & sensitivity. The person’s belief, values, and morals are all questioned and crushed by those words. In the same note, you almost never hear someone saying to a strong-willed female, “Be a woman” unless they are making a sexist joke.

Wouldn’t it be great if everyone would be treated nicely for being sensitive to other’s emotion? Wouldn’t it be great if everyone would try to understand what’s going through a person’s head before judging them? Wouldn’t it be wonderful if there were more men that were sensitive too and would resolve problems with a cool head instead of violently over-reacting to everything? I guess, there are all types of people and no one can be the same. You just have to learn to cope with them, handpicking the ones you connect with while leaving the jerks behind. Life is all about learning, and while it isn’t possible to learn about everyone around you, it is best if you know the true you and stick with your beliefs. Life isn’t a fairy tale story and there are always going to be judgmental assholes, it's best to know who you are and be nice to everyone that is nice to you.