Mon, 20 Jan, 2020

They Called Me An Idiot

By Bijaya Kumar Shrestha

Generally, it is very hard to take decision regarding the matters like returning back to Nepal from western countries and having an inter-cast marriage in the Nepalese society. These things create dilemma to the youngsters. Because, those who sacrifice western life style, those who go for inter-casts marriage are called idiots in our community. These decisions are considered to be foolish. And, I am one of those idiots who decided to return to Nepal by sacrificing European life and marry the girl who belonged to another cast. Inter-caste marriage is legal in Nepal, but not accepted in our society and not fully adopted in villages. We have to take challenges to transform such misconceptions. But, I am confident that there will be some positive changes in our society. The deep rooted tradition has created a fear among many people in our society. Our society thinks that inter-caste marriage ruins our culture, religion and status. In my eyes, “there is only one caste, the caste of humanity; there is only one religion, the religion of love; and there is only one hope, the hope of world peace.” All of us have read what Laxmi Prasad Devkota has written ‘Man is great because of his heart not by his caste’. So, being great by heart is far more appreciable than being great by cast. We can take the lessons from late Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi. She was a Kashmiri Brahmin who married a Muslim. The basic underlying problem is that in spite of being natural beings we have never tried to become natural. Due to the inability of transferring ourselves to the nature, our civilization has not been transformed at such rate. We really need a revolutionary social transformation that will gear up our civilization. I have just put a small effort to gear up our civilization. All of us know that cast system is a social evil in our country and it is us who have to take initiation against it. And, I believe it can be achieved if we take initiation together to fight against the fear of caste. Hence, I decided to marry Sabitri and put a small effort against this evil. I remember the day, it was June 22nd, 2014. I and some of my friends with a 'Pandit' were waiting for her arrival in front of the Jayabageswori temple. Though the day was cloudy, it was not raining. I was confident but nervous. Finally, 'I' became 'we' and Bijaya Kumar Shrestha married Sabitir Thapa Magar. If I see it from now, we have shared lots of happiness and loving moments, and today is our first marriage anniversary. We were in love for few years and we decided to get married after I came back from Italy. I was really impressed by her dedication towards our love. It is needless to explain about those hard times and difficult situations to make our marriage successful. [caption id="attachment_7172" align="aligncenter" width="829"] Photo: Lata Koirala Bista To The Left Of Bride And Mahesh Adhikari To The Left Of Lata.[/caption] I never forget the inspiration given by my friends, my youngest brother Prakash and family members of Sabitri giving full support to my decision. Mahesh Adhikari and Keshav Raj Adhikari helped me a lot and it will remain in my memory for a long time. Lata Koiral Biasta, who welcomed Sabitri to my home, has gained lots of respect in my eyes. To make it possible, it is needless to write about role of Pooja Shrestha and her family. For my deed, people started calling me an idiot without realizing that I did not forget my motherland and took an initiation to fight against social evil of caste system.                                                                                       Honeymoon There is a small village called Bhakumle/Sirubari in Panchamul V.D.C. of Syagnja district. I have very good relations with Krishna Prashad Adhikari – Central Secretary of PABSON and Maj. Lil Bahadur Gurung, MBE – President of Rotary Club of The Himalayan Gurkha. I call them Elder brother and Mama respectively. We decided to go to Bhakumle/ Sirubari as our honeymoon destination. Our aim was to pray the goddess Dahare Deurali situated at the top of the hill in the village. Our journey to the village on bike was really difficult but we will miss those days. It was the month of January and it was heavily raining. It taught us the lesion, “If you are eager to achieve something, you can”.                                                                                        Temple Visit Maybe by Sabitri’s influence, we visited more than a dozen of temples on our first year of marriage praying for love, peace and prosperity. There is nothing especial about this, visiting temple creates self-satisfaction on me. If you really want to be happy, find the way that makes you satisfied and apply into your life. Visiting temples give me satisfactions and make me happy. We visited nine different temples of goddess Devi during Dashain festival. Out of many, reaching Muktinath temple at an altitude of 3800 meters has made a history in our marital life. The moment we hold our hand in front of the Muktinath temple was the most loving moment of my life. The moment we reached the base of Muktinath temple on our bike was the most adventurous moment of my life. [caption id="attachment_7173" align="aligncenter" width="820"] Photo: In Front of Muktinath Temple[/caption]                                                                                         Earthquake Besides visiting temple, both of us are really fond of reading books. I love both Nepali and English books of any kind. Sabitri, being a student of History loves reading historical books. It was April – 25, 2015 Saturday, there was book fair going on in Bhrikuti Mandap and our plan for the day was to visit the stalls and get some interesting books. As, we were getting ready and about to go out, Nepal was hit by horribly terrifying and devastating Earthquake giving a bitter experience to our life. Still, people are in fear and we are facing numbers of aftershocks everyday. Many people lost their lives and home. Different old historical areas are completely destroyed. We would like to pray to god for the safety of all Nepali people. [caption id="attachment_7174" align="aligncenter" width="928"] Photo: Sabitri With DWSWN Volunteers, Cleaning Kalmochan Temple[/caption]                                                                                       Anniversary More than the occasion, we are happy and it’s my small fight against caste system. As the years continue to pass, the love that we share continue to grow stronger. Our love and devotion will certainly inspire all surrounded us. We will be blessed with all the gifts that life has to ofer. We will celebrate many more years together being stronger and happier. It is really amazing to see that we are still so deeply in love with one another. Happy Anniversary!